1. |
Come Undone
05:55
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I'm waiting for the heavens
To fall down on me
It's been hanging there for weeks
The end for everything I again have built
For I could've seen the signs
But didn't want to give in
Ignoring the ugly taste of truth
Sleepwalking through the endless days
The weeks of darkness
Made life a little less whole again...
I come undone
Hope is a cruel mistress
But even more hopeless as a slave
There's never time to draw the line
To mark beginning from the end
The clear shadow of the shame
Spreading from my shattered feet
The slave stares with widened eyes
Seeing hope where nothing can remain
I come undone
With each passing moment
The weeks of darkness
A little less whole again
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2. |
Departure
03:13
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This departure from the weeks of darkness
Somehow adoration turned to ashes in my mouth
I can't claim any hate but these are the opened eyes
They can see blame for someone other than oneself
Not that they're gone, the feelings of worthlessness
Habit of locking eyes and always seeing black
For growing without confidence how could you get it back?
But at least there this one roadblock cleared out of way
This decision is not from my heart or my soul
But I do believe it is now something I have to take
Emotional dead-ends recently have seem to lost their charm
Irony lies heavy-handed on my crooked back
It's hard to rise again from the pit you dug for yourself
Home is where the heart lies and hands grasp the earth
Under these winds the future may seem unconcievable
But at least now there may be something worth the wait
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3. |
Gained and Lost Control
07:50
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Faceless and without mercy
The dawn is settling in
Hard light crawls down the wall
Suddenly, without warning
The memories flooding in
Last night pushing down the doors
....and taking me
Flashes of out of focus images floating by
Disconnected droning words
Nothing to be afraid of
Just another wasted night
Among all others of this wasted life
Dreams of smiles on foreign faces
The filling and unfilling of glasses
Somewhere else there is someone else
Trying to forget the corresponding memories
The hands were tied
Grasping for control
Trying to sell the soul
Few joyful moments
Traded for a years of loss
Surely there are demons
Envious for the rate of of this exchange
The hands were tied
Grasping for control
Trying to sell the soul
The heart is blind
Just beating for the thrill
Trying to lose control
And I could be content
Safe within the circle
But the need to chase the shadows
Was more powerful still
Lost all control
Free from all control
Wasted and without mercy
Leaving behind few more dreams
Collapsing throught the door and shutting down
Without thinking gained or lost control
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4. |
The Promise
03:33
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There was a hundred little things I promised to myself
At some point it is just easier to stop promising or caring
Turn the blind eye to the crumbling image of self
Make absolutely no decisions at all
Let entropy take care of all your worries
Watch everyone you at any point had known
Slip away like ghosts or dust in an autumn wind
Something powerfully binding like friendships still wither for absence
Constant escaping from ever diminishing circles
Spiral down in to the vista of emptiness you have painted on your own
Feeling safety for no imaginable danger can exist here
Until you imagine it and it's time to draw in further
Further and deeper, all the way
Mother of all promises
To live, to wither and someday die
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5. |
Unmoved
07:27
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Sealed safe within
Where nothing ever happens
Anticipating nothing
Nothing for years to come
Nothing to say
Watching and waiting
For something to break
Reasons to stay
But nothing can be made still
Walls can't hold on forever by magic alone
Streams were made to flow free
Trees meant to grow - but what of me?
Still just shedding leaves
For there are days of strange activity
Waking up and starting to see the world anew
So far those times ended in bitterness
They are the start and the end
A reoccurring dream I often wake up from
With the words I wrote but never wanted to hear
But what of dreams if all you do is sleep
It's tempting to just ignore, but so it reads...
"You just love this misery
Bitterness fuels the fires, you've never wanted to change
Stop excusing yourself
Live the poisoned life you always had fantasized about"
And that might be the worst of everything
Being confronted by none other than oneself
To hell with the know-it-alls, be it part of yourself
It's time to medicate, to numb and intoxicate
For I am, what I choose
Not defined by others
Not a victim of consequences
Slaved no to emotions
Adhered to no ideals
Unmoved by the world
Or so I used to think
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6. |
The Fine Art
06:25
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The fine art of leaving everything behind
Time after time in the most casual fashion
Reverting back to a baseline of function
All the gains thrown carelessly aside
Dreading the colliding past
The careful redesign of image and past
Decorated with false memories
But this right here is the clean bedrock
Where all the lies were built towards the skies
Dreading the colliding past
The entropy - a function of shame against time
Running towards another beginning
Leaving past less time to catch up
To push the fear back for longer still
To face against shame longer still
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7. |
Weight of the World
08:07
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The words had their time
Yet never anything was said
Nothing was implied
But I took it all to the heart
And now I have gone beyond my years
Road-worn, collecting centuries worth dust
And nothing came from all the ideas
Aspiration - A flower never watered
The flashes of a life that may could've been
Don't really hurt, no more - but are added to the pile
Of the burdens one chose to carry, all by themselves
Weight of the world forcing down the shoulders
Oh how glad I was to shake off from mine
Step by step for you the road grows longer
I can't carry even a handful of pride
And you have gone pushing on the boulders
Over even the rockiest of hills
Doesn't look much but from where I stand
Nothing ever will...
Weight of the world
You know I never wanted to pay the price
Never to accept that time flows on
And whe I loved I loved like a fiend
Feeding on emotion until the vein was dry
Never to - like you would - to built it stronger
Lay foundations designed to take the blows
To withstand in jaws of entropy
Carry the weight of the world
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